Unsatisfied Hunger

Have you ever gone a day without eating? There was a time in my early high school days that I attempted to "fast." I didn't tell my parents I was doing this, instead I just tried to ignore my body's craving for food and go about my day. It didn't go to well...I discovered without nutrition, I can be kinda grouchy. 

It may sound morbid, but whenever I've gone a while without eating, I feel as though my stomach begins to digest itself. The feeling is one that is like no other. But I have been so blessed, that if I am ever hungry, that desire can be fixed by a simple drive down the street to the nearest fast-food restaurant, or just 5 steps to the pantry. Some days I feel like all I have done is eaten. We as humans find so much joy in food, granted, we must have it to live. 

At night, as the world slows down I begin to feel that feeling again. Hunger. But its not my body wanting food. Instead, this hunger is in my heart. My heart is hungry. So hungry. And for some reason, I keep forgetting that a simple flip of the page in the Bible on my shelf will satisfy that hunger. Or a simple prayer to the One whom I am hungry for. 

Why is it so easy for me to satisfy my hunger for food, but I allow my spiritual hunger go unsatisfied?

Every day, I prepare this feast of worldly joy, success and satisfaction. Daily, I eat my fill of "un-nutritious" relationships, rotten TV shows, and stale success hoping that I will go to bed on a full stomach. But the opposite is always true, the unsatisfied hunger remains. After I indulge, I leave the table feeling more hungry than before I sat down. 

Just as my body needs food daily, so does my spirit. I need to commune with the Lord daily. Without the truth of the Bible and the love of my Savior, my hunger lingers in my soul. We must have spiritual food to live. 

It's a daily struggle. The fruit of this world looks shiny and delicious on the outside, but the core is rotten. We will never be full if we feast at the table of the world. God invites us to feast at His table. To eat and never hunger, to drink and never thirst. How foolish of me to decline His invitation to nourish my spirit and drink of His living water. 

Are you hungry? 

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  

~Psalm 42:1-2

Taste and see that the Lord is good.  

~Psalm 34:8

Lord, make me hungry for you. Satisfy this hunger with your truth and your love. May I stop turning to the things of this world for satisfaction, but know that I am fully complete in you. I need more of you, God.

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Past 3 Weeks Reviewed

Whew...it has been a CRAZY few weeks! My 10 June campers have left, and I was blessed with 10 more girls to mentor and lead for 5 weeks. We are starting our 3rd week of this session. Again, I am so sorry for not writing more...when I get free time, I am too tired to try to stay connected with everyone. So to give ya'll a run down I am going to quickly run through the big things of the past 3 weeks!


June 24: 10 beautiful 8th grade girls moved into my cabin. So you can pray for them by name: Lucy, Savannah, Nathalie, Grace, Laney, Missy, Anne, Libby, Yola and Vivi (both from Mexico). These are my girls and boy do I love them! 


July 4: We do so many things here at camp! Everyday we have classes and an evening program. But this year for the 4th we were packed with many fun things! The big thing was Carnival where the director brings in all kinds of blow up slides and what-not. We have carnival food galore (funnel cakes, baby!) and just have tons of fun! I know what you're thinkin- this is not a normal camp! After all this fun, we sat along the shore of the lake and enjoyed the BEST firework show I have ever seen! It was beautiful!


Every counselor is the head of a table in the dining hall and each week campers draw a number to shuffle up the tables a bit! Last week, I had the most WONDERFUL table! Each day we had beautiful conversations about Jesus, mission work and finding our identity in Christ! Ahhhhhh I could just rave and rave about my table! Sad to say I had to bid them farewell on Sunday and welcome a new table this morning! I am excited to see what God has in store for this week!

Saturday I had my first day off for this session! I could probably write 10 blogs about that day...it was such a perfect day and God new exactly what me and my friend Carolina needed! He filled up our dry cups and comforted us all day with His presence! Ahhhh I love Him!


Thought it would be fun to post some pictures of my cabin at 80's bowling we enjoyed the other night! Keep the prayers a comin...the 500 girls here need Jesus and your prayers...keep 'em flowing! :)


Love you all!!

Don't Miss His Voice

This week has been a wonderful week! I want to share with you a devotion I have been chewing on this week! 


It comes from a small book called "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts. Each small devotion is written like God is speaking directly to you! I love it so much. Here is the one that has really hit home lately. I pray the Lord touches your heart with these words.


"Give Me a Drink"


     Behold, the time is short. Be not entangled in the things of the world, for they are transitory (not permanent). Be not over-concerned as to thy personal needs, for your Heavenly Father knows what you need and He will supply. But let thine uppermost concern be to carry out My will and purpose for thy life, to be sensitive to My guidance, and to keep thine ear open toward Heaven
     Miss anything else, but don't miss My voice. Other voices may introduce disharmony, but My voice will always bring peace to thy heart and clarity to thy thinking. For ye shall hear My voice behind thee saying: This is the way, walk in it, when thou turnest to the left hand or the right. 
    Yea, I will keep thee in the center of My will and My being, lest on the one hand ye move into coldness and doubt, or on the other hand ye be carried away by fleshly zeal. But there is no neutrality in the center. This is not an arbitrary position. For I will fill thee with the abundance of My own life. 
    Thy heart will burn with the Fire of My Love. Thou shalt rejoice in all kinds of circumstances because I will share with thee My joy; and My joy is completely disassociated with the world and with the people of the world. But I joy in those who joy in Me. My love I pour out to those who pour out their lives to Me.
    "Give and ye shall receive" is a spiritual law that holds true as much between thyself and God as between man and his fellowman. Even more so, for this is a higher plane of operation. Learn it on the highest plane, and it will become simple and automatic at the human level. 
    And even as I said to the woman at the well (knowing her need of true satisfaction), "Give Me a drink," so I say to you, Give Me a portion of the love ye have-- even though it be limited and natural, and I will give you My love in return. Love that is Infinite. Love that is Abounding. Love that will gush forth from thy life to refresh others. 
    Give Me just a cupful of your limited affection. I long for it. I weep for it as I wept for the love of Jerusalem. i will pour out upon you such love as ye have never known. Love that will flood your whole being with such satisfaction as ye never dreamed possible to experience except in Heaven. Lo, I beg of thee, "Give Me a drink." Or in the language of Elijah, "Bake me a little cake first," and thou wilt never lack for meal and oil (1 Kings 17:13-16)

Moments of Joy

Forgive me for my lack of communication the past few weeks! Camp has consumed all my time! We are completing our first week of campers! On Monday, me and my co-counselor Hailey received 10 girls to "mother" until June 22nd! So far these 5th graders have been wonderful to spend time with. They all have different personalities and I just never know what to expect from them! I couldn't help but smile with pride as my girls got dressed for Sunday school this morning. Each one of them looked beautiful in their Sunday best! 


Camp Greystone is a camp like no other. The girls get to go to 14 different activities while they are here. It is kind of like school...7 periods MWF and 7 different classes TTS. I love hearing what each one of them accomplish in their different classes. The difficult part is remembering what each one of them are taking! 


Hailey and I are teaching golf together. We have 4 periods a day, 1 free period to clean up, and then I teach painting for 2 periods. In painting, we have a head instructor who teaches painting to college students and spends her summers here at Greystone. It is wonderful not having to come up with projects and being able to work on projects ourselves too! Golf is a different story. Truthfully, it has caused us both some discouragement and frustration. To begin with, golf has never been a hobby of mine...by no means am I a pro. But we have both quickly realized that there is not much enjoyment in golf when you do not have a course to play on. Pray that we would both find encouragement with this and discover new ways to teach this game. 


When rest hour bugle blows, my heart sings praises to the Lord! By that time, I am ready to sit and spend time with the Lord (and sometimes sleep!) Every night we have evening programs, so far consisting of cabin lip syncs, opening vespers (beautiful ceremony) and a carnival! Crazy stuff going on here! 


While everyday is packed full of busyness and there is little time to open my eyes to the beauty in it all, God has blessed me with moments of joy that I was able to soak in. A few nights ago, we had opening vespers ceremony representing how we (staff) are the light of Christ and we are passing that light to the girls. It is truly a beautiful ceremony with everyone in full white clothing and lighting candles. While the ceremony was very touching, what happened afterwards truly brightened my day. My voice has been really rough the past week. I don't know if it is all the singing, laughing or talking...but singing is rather difficult. I LOVE worship but not when I sound like a dying cat. But after the ceremony a little girl who sat in front of me turned to me so humbly and said "I just wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful voice." My heart melted like a stick of butter in the hot sun. This was the little moment of joy God wanted to give me in a rough day. 


To be honest, I think sometimes I am too stubborn to open my eyes to the moments God gives us to bask in Him. Most days it is a struggle seeing past the discouragement the enemy puts into my mind. But I'm learning...learning that the Lord's strength really is the only one that can carry me through each day. I wasn't told this job would be easy, but I desire that the Lord is glorified through it. 


My fellow counselors are great! Love them so much! One of them described this whole experience in a way that really rings true. Camp is like having a family of 10 children, going on a vacation every single day (evening programs) but having a 9-5 job at the same time (the activities we teach). Life is crazy right now, but I don't know that I would ask for anything different!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit!" Romans 15:13

How Great is our God

This video absolutely blew my mind! I want to share it with you! It is only about 13 minutes long...definitely worth every minute of it!

The Lord really does deserve to be praised! 


Check out my blog post below as well :)

Family Outside of Family

This past week, I was able to visit a church here in my hometown that has really been a huge part of my spiritual journey. God has really laid on my heart to write about how important having a church family is. So many times in my life, I have heard people say they don't need to go to church to be a good "Christian" and I don't disagree. A handful of people seem to be discouraged or have nasty tastes in their mouths from a bad experience with a church; my heart hurts for those people. After each of these conversations, I walk away with the same thought: "I don't know where I would be if I didn't have a church family." Quite honestly, I believe church is so important in following Christ.


I grew up in the church. In high school, I began going to Bible study at a different church than my "home" church. I didn't know that 4 years later they would be supporting me as I travelled to North Africa. My mentors and friends came from this church. They guided me spiritually and supported me on my walk with Christ (and still do!) When I walked into this church this week (and interrupted their lunch) they welcomed me with open arms (and even gave me a piece of delicious cake!). Never have I left this church (or of being with the people of this church) feeling empty or discouraged. They have done so much for me, including: providing the resources and leadership for great Bible studies, having retreats and many other events, commissioning me on my trip to North Africa, praying over and for me, allowing me to speak to their congregation, and just being my family outside of my true family. Seriously, how blessed I have been by this church and this group of people!


Everybody needs a family like this. Everybody needs a church home.


My heart breaks when people share stories about how the church let them down, or the ways that humans ruin church. Let me make something clear: those stories shed light on the work of the devil, not on God. The enemy will do everything in his power to turn believers away from church, because a body of believers is the devil's worst nightmare. That is why it is so much more important that the people of God are unified, because it is hard for Satan to attack a big body of believers. To him, those walking alone are the "easy catches."


I don't mean to scare you or offend you...but make a simple point. Church is important for every single believer of Christ. Being a part of an army of people seeking to bring the Lord glory is so vital. 


From my experience, the body of Christ has:

                    been the place where I have found God's love, 

                    where the seed of faith was planted in my heart,

                    guided me and helped nourish my faith,

                    brought me hope when I had none,
                    supported me in the journeys that God has lead me on,
                    always had my back in prayer,
                    always extended a hand when I have fallen,
                    become my family outside of my family.


And God wants all of this and more for you. Not only does church play an important role in the follower's life, each person has an important role in the church. 


1 Corinthians 12:12-26 
12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body-whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free-and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.14 Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15 If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.


I love this passage of scripture. We are ALL a part of the body. Without YOU, we would not be complete. As verse 25 says, "there should be no division in the body...parts should have equal concern for each other." The body of Christ suffers together and rejoices together. 


If you are not a part of a body of believers, I strongly encourage you to seek out the place where you feel welcomed. 


There truly is something so beautiful about having a church family. I pray that one day, you get to experience that for yourself.

How To Miss YOUR Life

It has been a long time since I had the chance to write. By no means, have I forgotten about this blog. In fact, I've had many many many ideas every day about what to write. But since being home from school, I've cut my time on my computer and phone short. I don't know what it is, but there is truly something about limiting the time spent on electronics that liberates your life. Maybe it is the fact that there is more time to spend on more important things like family, friends or even yourself. Along with that, I believe there is an element of freedom from the world and all its "ugliness." Don't get me wrong, I think the world is beautiful, but nobody can deny the truth that our world is deteriorating...media is full of role models promoting success and sex, government is restricting people of their rights, other countries are struggling with poverty, human trafficking and slavery. But if you think about it, the ugly part of our world is broad casted on the Internet and TV. Back to my point, limiting the amount of time spent watching TV and googling the net frees you from all of that. If you haven't spent a day without your cell phone in your hand every second, or being on the Internet every hour (for things other than work or important matters), or sitting on the couch and watch the daily news every morning/evening, then you are missing out on the wonderful world called "Your Life."


I read a blog this past week titled "How to Miss a Childhood." Basically, it talked about how in this day and age, the phone has consumed people's lives. As a result, parents are missing out on the lives of their children. Of course, I am not a mother...but it was still rather convicting. Truthfully, making your phone the most important and vital aspect of life causes one to miss out on more than a childhood, but their very own LIFE. I think it goes without saying that life is one of the greatest gifts God has given us (besides the sacrifice of Jesus and grace we received because of it, and His love of course!) Waking up every morning with a new day to discover, relying on your lungs pump oxygen in 20,160 times per day, trusting the strongest muscle in your body to beat continuously for years upon years. Doesn't that just blow your mind? Life is such a beautiful gift, but do we realize it? Do we appreciate it like we should? Does God receive the praise He deserves for this amazing blessing He has given each one of us?


For me, I take for granted each breath He allows me to breathe, and each second He allows me to live. At the time I am writing this, I have lived approx. 645,063,380 seconds. That seems like a lot, and honestly, that means I should've sent the Lord that many praises in my lifetime, because each second is a gift worthy to praise Him for. We all know that at any moment He can decide to finish our life here on earth and take us to His eternal Kingdom in Heaven. But not at this very moment...so therefore we praise Him.


It is so easy to become distracted, not only by cell phones, Internet, media by also just by our own selfish desires and pleasures. It is common to go days completely forgetting the blessing of life and instead criticizing everything that is wrong in life, or complaining about the circumstances. Something I've realized recently: when we criticize our lives and the people in our lives, we are truly criticizing the Lord and the work He is doing in our lives. Painful. That hurts me just saying it. He doesn't deserves our criticism, in fact, I'm not sure we have any place to tell the Lord what He is doing right and what He has gotten completely wrong. Hmm...that's one to ponder on further.


I don't know what your life looks like right now, but from my 20 years of life, there has never been any circumstance big enough to take the place of praise. Nothing is greater than the Lord. Not our circumstances, not our mistakes, not the storms that suddenly cover our lives. The Lord is bigger than ALL.


"Don't tell your God how big the storm is; tell the storm how big your God is!"


I think it is time to disconnect with the world and reconnect with God. Break the bond with media (phone, Internet, TV) and strengthen the bond with your Creator, the One who sustains you and gives you EVERY breathe you need to function each day. Remove your eyes from the ugly, distorted, or misplaced pieces of your life and fix your eyes back on the Lord who sees the entire picture, which, may I add, is BEAUTIFUL.


The Lord doesn't want you to miss out on your life. The beautiful, unique life that He so thoughtfully and meticulously designed just for you! You only get one chance to live it...how will you spend each second He gives you? Being critical, or being joyful and full of praise?

"For you created my inmost being;

 you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,    I know that full well."

~Psalm 139:12-14

¹⁴ 

Removing the Mask

I'm new at this whole blogging thing. It has been an idea a couple times, but I thought I'd do a bad job at keeping it up. But people keep telling me I should, so here it goes. Day 1 on this whole journey of letting my stories, my life and everything God is teaching me be seen by the eyes of people; some that I know, others who I've never met in my life! Whichever you are...thank you for taking this journey with me.


Life is hard isn't it? Every day presents another struggle, but always a lesson to be learned and praise to be given! The purpose of my blog is not to write what everybody already knows, but to reveal what goes on in my heart. Many of the things I will write are filled with challenges, struggles, sins and scars BUT in all of this, there is beauty to be found! This semester, the Lord has been so faithful and revealing truth to me and showing me that in everything, He has a purpose and a plan! 


So let's be honest, I am not perfect. Not at all. For me it is easy to reveal that truth. What catches me is showing others the ways in which I fail. While it is easy for me to say I'm not perfect, it is just as easy for me to conceal all my imperfections and "ugliness" (as I like to call it.) Even as I write this, I can feel God looking down on me shaking His head and saying "all the acceptance you need is in Me. Stop worrying about what others see...all that matters is what I see." I pray one day God will give me a heart fully aware of the acceptance I have in Him so I don't need to find my worth in what others think. Because honestly, that's the root of my fear of exposing all my "ugliness" and brokenness. Funny isn't it, how we hide the things others would consider ugly or wrong, but make sure everything on the outside looks pretty and put together. We all know it's just a facade...a mask to conceal our weaknesses, or sins. But that's not how God wants us to live. Not at all. He desire for us to find our complete and total worth and value in Him and Him alone. Not the people around us, not our family, not our friends, not our teachers, bosses, or the world. 


The Lord sees our brokenness, our scars, our struggles, our ugliness as BEAUTIFUL. 


All of it = beautiful! 


Honestly, I'm preaching to myself here. Everyday I find myself hiding, only exposing the parts of me that I like, or that are "put-together." When truly, God wishes that we would just expose all that we are, so that He can create in us something more! I think that may be my goal for this week: to be completely truthful and honest about who I am, even my imperfections and the scars. 


God has saved me because of His grace. His love heals my wounds, forgives my sins, redeems my spirit. Our scars reveal what the Lord saved us from. It is a testimony to the greatness of God. 


My friend, you are not who others say you are...you are who GOD says you are. 


Broken, bruised, scared...you are BEAUTIFUL!